This was one of many classes I’ve taken to gather wisdom from amazing life teachers.\u00a0 I listened with such great intensity to all her words.\u00a0 You see, I was eager to demonstrate my life learner qualities and grow from my circumstances.\u00a0 I had made her my hero and put her on a pedestal because after all, she was all knowing.<\/p>\n
As the class continued, we were told to look at the other women sitting in the circle while observing any thoughts or emotions that came up in relationship to anyone.\u00a0 She gave us time.\u00a0 Long enough for the thoughts to come up and begin to be uncomfortable.<\/p>\n
The thoughts started to flood my brain\u2026\u2026Oh no, things are about to get real\u2026this is the part of \u201cself-inquiry\u201d that becomes awkwardly emotional and we are going deep into the abyss of emotions and thought.\u00a0 Here we go\u2026I thought I was casting aside my ego, took a breath and ventured into the exercise with both feet.<\/p>\n
As I stood in front of this woman, I looked into her eyes and at the same time, had to tell her how I honestly felt.\u00a0 She just happened to be one of the women whom had been to many of the groups before, I assumed<\/em> she would then behave in a certain way.\u00a0 So, I shared with her this- \u201cIt feels like you didn\u2019t even acknowledge me when I came here today, I hoped because I was new, you would welcome me and make me feel comfortable, instead, it feels like you just ignored me.\u201d<\/p>\n There, I said it\u2026she can understand how I feel now.\u00a0 She can change her behavior to make me feel comfortable.\u00a0 The woman across from me just listened staring back into my eyes.\u00a0 Not a word\u2026.<\/p>\n THEN-<\/p>\n The instructor brought out a mirror, gave it to me and said \u201ctake a look in the mirror and say the same thing again!\u201d<\/p>\n What the \u2026.? Really?\u00a0 Oh no!<\/strong><\/p>\n As I brought the mirror to my face, it was as if a gigantic pointer finger was staring right back at me!\u00a0 Everything shifted\u2026..I started to cry, my tender heart swelled and my eyes softened as I began to speak those words to myself.<\/p>\n \u201cIt feels like you didn\u2019t\u00a0 acknowledge me today, I hoped because I was new at this, you would welcome me and make me feel comfortable, instead, it feels like you just ignored me.\u201d<\/p>\n Quiet, poignant, deep thought pause.\u00a0 It is so much easier to deflect onto other people.\u00a0 I can blame them and make them responsible for my well-being.\u00a0 It was one of those AHA moments.\u00a0 A moment of truth literally mirrored back to me and it was hard to hear.\u00a0 But it was the truth.<\/p>\n Here it was I had been pointing the finger out at others to fix things for ME, to figure out what I needed and to then give me the map on how to chart MY own course.\u00a0 I was playing the blame and shame game.<\/p>\n As long as I kept looking to others, I would never really discover my own wisdom found within my challenges and strengths.\u00a0 I actually needed to be held accountable for my actions, regardless of the outcome.\u00a0 It was no one else’s job to make me do anything or for that matter, hold me back.<\/p>\n I am responsible for creating my own self-worth, establishing my own self-care and listening to my wise guide inside.\u00a0 It is my responsibility to acknowledge myself and then take the steps to discover what I need in order to flourish and bounce back in adversity.<\/p>\n All along I had been looking for someone else to be my hero.\u00a0 I had been putting others on pedestals waiting for them to give me the green light or offer me the magic wand to create myself or change my circumstances.\u00a0 I had no idea what I was doing or how to navigate this new reality of life after loss.\u00a0 I assumed someone else knew what I needed and honestly wanted them to come along and fix it for me.\u00a0 I was tired, lost and heartbroken.\u00a0 Life had happened to me.<\/p>\n And so the truth continues.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Yes, life happens\u2026\u2026to everyone.<\/p>\n Every single person is struggling with some type of adversity in their life and the circumstances are not comparable.\u00a0 Each situation unique to upbringing, history, culture and personality.\u00a0 No one has a magic wand or a predetermined map on how to navigate our life challenges.\u00a0 At least, I don\u2019t know of any!<\/p>\n We can take a look at ourselves in the mirror and ask ourselves what needs to be done.\u00a0 It is then that we take the next step and begin.\u00a0 One breathe, one step, one thought and one action at a time.\u00a0 We can reach out our hand to someone else or ask a friend for support.\u00a0 We may retreat to the mountains to clear our mind and fill our hearts or run to the city to play basketball with friends.\u00a0 Quite often, we take a step in one direction just to find out it is not<\/strong> the direction you want to go.\u00a0 That is progress.\u00a0 That means we are one step closer to finding out what we do want or need!<\/p>\n I will create myself by choosing how to respond and build character with my actions.\u00a0 I will be tender and fierce, vulnerable and courageous while welcoming myself even when I start something new.\u00a0 I will try, fall, learn and then stand back up- over and over again with bruised knees, a broken heart and a willing mind.\u00a0 Because I choose to!\u00a0 When I need to rest and rejuvenate, I will do just that…I am my own authority.<\/p>\n I’ve been looking for a hero to come and save me in my grief.\u00a0 I now realized, no one could be my hero.\u00a0 I could find strength and inspiration in others\u2026but no one can do the act of heroism but me.\u00a0 Therefore, I needed to turn the mirror, take a good hard look while pointing a finger right back at ME.\u00a0 Of course I can ask others for help in all sorts of ways\u2026.we lift each other up by walking beside each other and extending a hand…..absolutely.<\/p>\n Yet at the end of the day, we must each turn inward to our wise guide inside and heart wisdom to find the next clue on our journey. Finally, take a breath, reach out our hand one more time and take another step into life!<\/p>\n I sat in a circle of women, hoping to grow from this grieving place. This was one of many classes I’ve taken to gather wisdom from amazing life teachers.\u00a0 I listened with such great intensity to all her words.\u00a0 You see, I was eager to demonstrate my life learner qualities and grow from my circumstances.\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":1447,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[81,61,73,67,84,83,54],"yoast_head":"\nOH\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 MY\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 GOODNESS!!!<\/em><\/strong><\/h2>\n
Dang\u2026..that is a hard pill to swallow.<\/h3>\n
The mirror lesson-<\/strong><\/h4>\n
My point is this\u2026<\/h5>\n
So go take a look in the mirror, meet your hero\u2026..<\/h1>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"