The Story of Sunrise Retreats

Sunrise Retreats started in early 2017 with a very simple and passionate dream.  After my late husband Tyler died in 2013, I found myself in a world filled with despair, hopelessness, confusion and intense grief.  Not only for myself, but for my children as well who were navigating life without their beloved father.

I felt completely unprepared for the journey of grief.   I never thought I would be a widow at the age of 39, raising my children without my best friend and life partner.  All my future dreams and concept of reality died with him.

Although he had told us to make him proud in our life without him, I don’t think any of us realized it would be so difficult to actually accomplish this endeavor.  My deep love for him and our children was my lifeline of hope and became my inspiration to fully engage life as best I could.  After many years of grief counseling, self-inquiry, soul searching, spiritual seeking and many unexpected earth angels, I began to shift my awareness of what kind of life I was living to what kind of life I wanted to live.

The Dream Team

One of the many AHA moments discovered during this time was a deep desire dream to have an experience where I could connect with others who shared a similar pain point and yet different than a support group.  I wished for an experience where my grief was honored AND encouraged to find ways to discover what it meant to create new life, today.  Surrounded by nature (a natural healer), replenished with tender self-care, gentle movement through yoga, finding inspiration through art and connecting with others while igniting a flame of hope for today…..and maybe even a flicker towards a future.

I also hoped to offer support and education on navigating grief and loss from a health perspective.  My physical health suffered greatly in my grief journey.  Even though I had spent the last 20 years as a health educator in oncology and cardiac rehab, it was completely different walking in the shoes as a caregiver for 15 months and then a grieving wife with children.  I took a good hard look at what and how I had been teaching.  Things changed…….I saw an opportunity to reach back out to my community with a new perspective.

Putting all of this together, I shared the dream out loud with a small group of ladies who had been part of my deep grief journey (they became the Dream Team).  Ironically, none of them were widows.  However, they were amazing, emotionally intelligent women who could hold the space of grief without the urge to “fix it”.  I actually didn’t know many widows at the time.  However, it was one of these ladies on the Dream Team that pushed me to actually DO something about the dream.  After all……

Dreams are something you think about.

Goals are something you take action on. 

Completely unaware of what the next step was, I found myself walking up to a table at the Fly Fishing Expo.  River Discovery is a local non-profit that serves cancer survivors and their families with outdoor river experiences.  In that moment and without hesitation, I took a step up to the table and asked the question, “Do you offer experiences for the family left behind, the family who is still living after a loved one dies from cancer?

Needless to say, three weeks later I was sitting with Alicia Rosales of River Discovery discussing how the first Sunrise Retreat for Widows of Cancer would happen by that summer.

It did and it was magical.

Eight courageous women answered the call to attend a weekend retreat in McCall, Idaho.  The cabin was generously donated and a private donation along with River Discovery’s support, allowed us to offer the retreat for a very minimal cost.

We spent time paddling the Payette in Cascade, received massages, ate deliciously home cooked food, connected around the camp fire and found inspiration through the art work.  It was beautiful.  We found ourselves in an experience that totally held our grief just as it was…there was no need to hide our “moments” or worry what someone was thinking when we were laughing.  We could see each other in ALL that we were, not just as widows who were navigating a very painful life experience but also as women who were choosing to stand in their difficult reality and say YES to trying to live….somehow.  We were honoring each others grief and also standing next to each other as we allowed hope into our hearts.

The ladies were tender, courageous, nourished, vulnerable, brave, replenished, rejuvenated and inspiring!

There was just enough balance of free time and community time for each of us to find our own rhythm yet feel the collective community that was brought together in support of each other.  One of the ladies was a young widow with school age children, she needed rest and replenishment in a safe place where she could acknowledge her own grief allowing her to then be there for her children.  She was in bed by 8:00….perfect.

With 5 people on a wait list and a successful retreat in our reality, we offered it again the following summer in 2018.  By now, River Discovery was encouraging us to create our own non-profit so that we could truly focus on ALL widowhood.  With their blessings and a big YES from our past participants and community partners, we took the next step.

We’ve had attendees come three weeks after losing their spouse all the way to 25 years out.  Widows with young children, widows with no children, remarried widows, cancer survivors and a widow, widowed multiple times, widows with grandchildren….it doesn’t matter.  We don’t put the timeline or stipulations on grief, there are none.

Most of our volunteers are past retreat participants and widow professionals.  Their passion and fiercely tender hearts continue to drive the vision forward.

If you find yourself on the journey of losing a spouse, this retreat is for you.    If you love someone who is on this journey, share this with them.

Please wander over to the Sunrise Retreats website to find all the information on retreats for widowhood and ways to participate in our very passionate endeavors.

Fierce and Tender,

Marni

Watch the full Spirit of Discovery talk with Marni

Discover Sunrise Retreats for widows

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