Her energy was different today. There was a sturdiness in her presence that was unlike before. Although the tenderness still lived within her broken heart, she had now welcomed it with a deep sense of wisdom and honor. She no longer pushed it away for fear of appearing weak. An unspoken glimmer of pride was emerging from her hard-earned battle scars. The secret days of grieving and weeping in solitude had served their purpose and the need to hide her authentic self was dissolving. Instead, she continued to grow from this tender, heartbroken and shattered place. She yearned to feel joy and craved an explosion of untethered laughter while her hair was tussled by the wild waves of the ocean. But she chose to bring it all with her for she wanted to feel the joy just as deeply as the grief filled tenderness was carving her soul. She knew there was room for both. She was ready to embrace it all.
Along the way, the unraveling of her heart began to reveal parts of herself that she had forgotten or possibly had never met before. Hiding the fullness of her beautiful heart and wise mind was no longer a choice. The mask given to her by society had shattered during the fullness of her despair. She didn’t want to follow the rules imposed by others seeking comfort over the often raw and beautiful reality found within the waves of life. And she didn’t want to pick up the pieces to fix herself again, at least not by their standards. Because she loves with her enormously precious heart AND life is happening. She was choosing how to rediscover herself with her own wisdom, found deep within her bones and the quiet whispers of the ancestor visions written on the walls of her sacred soul temple.
And so, she walked with pride as the tenderness and vulnerability merged with the fiercely courageous and bold woman who was now loving herself, all of herself. The new sturdiness within her presence was the embracing of her wholeness. She was no longer this or that, dying or living, joyful or sad, tender or fierce…. she was all of it. It all flowed through her like a wide mountain river filled with whitewater crashing down on massive boulders and deep slow flowing channels winding through a majestic canyon.
She now stood before me with the deep knowing that she had always been a whole, holy woman. Now she remembered.
Welcome my lady, it is such an honor to meet you again…….